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Bondage and Disability: Safety Tips for Disabled People

Bondage and Disability: Safety Tips for Disabled People

Disability and bondage may sound like a scary topic that is “too far out of reach” for us disabled folks, but it doesn’t have to be! Here are my top bondage safety tips as a disabled person.

Disability and sex is often overlooked by the general population, and when it is considered, there’s often a focus on reproduction and sexual function.

Sexual satisfaction and “alternative sexuality” with disability is rarely discussed in an already neglected area.

This article serves as a quick guide into why disabled people may want to engage with bondage, as well as how to be dominant with bondage, and disability specific safety.

Why might disabled people want to engage in bondage?

Simple answer: for the same reasons anyone else would want to engage in bondage—it’s hot and it’s pleasurable!

Long answer: Disability brings about a unique relationship to your own body, as well as unique societal expectations on how we should behave and present. As disabled people, we are often subjected to medicalisation, infantilisation, and othering without our consent, disempowering us from expressing our sexual sides.

Bondage and kink is a way to reclaim sexuality, or “power exchange for those who often feel disempowered” as described by Caz Killjoy in an interview by Thebody.com.

In fact, there’s been research by Stephanie Tellier into why disabled people may be drawn to bondage and other aspects of kink. Teller describes kink as being a “whole body experience beyond genital stimulation”.

Many disabled people are unable to or have difficult with penetrative/genital focused sex, so this exploration of other sexual activities and erogenous zones on the body can be really important and contribute to more pleasure.

BDSM and disability

Disability and Dominance

Handcuffs

Using handcuffs and other restraints are a great way to easily restrict your partner’s movement. I would recommend cuffs such as Share Satisfaction’s Luxury Handcuffs as they eliminate a lot of fine motor skills such as using a key, and are generally a lot nicer feeling and looking. Share Satisfaction Luxury HandcuffsShare Satisfaction Luxury Handcuffs$21.95Shop Now

Full restraints

Depending on your mobility, you may prefer something with buckles rather than clips as they require less fine motor skills. Full body restraints such as Liberator’s Bed Buckler and Fetish Fantasy’s Pink Passion Bondage Kit have easy clips, removing the stress of finicky metal clasps. Bed BucklerBed Buckler$189.95Shop NowFetish Fantasy Series Pink Passion Bondage KitFetish Fantasy Series Pink Passion Bondage Kit$79.95Shop Now

Rope

If rope bondage intrigues you, take the time to practice and experiment with how to hold and tie the rope in a way that’s comfortable for you. You may also find that certain ropes, such as thicker ropes or certain materials, are easier for you to hold and tie.

Before tying others, I spent quite a lot of time practicing self-ties on myself to get an understanding of how to best hold the rope and move my hands to not cause extra pain. This is going to be an individual process involving finding out what works for you. I would highly recommend spending the time to work out what is going to work for you to avoid injury and ensure everyone is having a safe and pleasurable time – that’s what it’s all about after all!

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Bondage tape

Bondage tape may be a great way to easily restrain someone too! Bondage tape is preferable to regular tape, as it does not pull hair or irritate skin. However, with adhesive allergies, always be mindful that this may still cause irritation – use your own discretion.

A similar alternative to using tape is cling/saran wrap. Yes, the same plastic sheets you use to wrap food can be used for bondage! It entails wrapping layers on the body (avoid mouth/nose/head!) or limbs together as like a mummification process to restrict movement. This can also very easily be cut off for quick removal!

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Disability Specific Safety Tips

Communication is vital

Inform your partner/s on the nature of your disability and how it will influence play. This needs to be comprehensive to ensure there is informed consent on both ends for risk and risk management.

RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Remember the acronym RACK – Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Some examples of highly important scenarios to be weary of can include decreased sensation, numbness and tingling, circulation issues, blood pressure, heart palpitations, joint pain and dislocations, seizures, respiratory issues, allergies, arthritis, previous injuries (such as broken bones), hearing and vision issues, bruising, and many other considerations.

It's also incredibly important to establish if you have any restrictions for physical movements, such as kneeling, crawling, lying on floor, mounting/dismounting a spanking horse/bench, wearing a mouth gag, being restrained to a St Andrews Cross, having wrists/ankles restrained separately or together, and many more.

Speak up

Another important consideration for safety (especially those on the receiving end) is to speak up when something feels wrong. You know your body best and you deserve to be safe and have a pleasurable experience. Nothing ruins the mood more than a scene leading to an emergency room trip.

Start slow

Starting slower and building up to more intense scenes is a great idea for anyone, but especially when you’re navigating discovering what your own body can handle. You may also find that you may need to do other work such as physiotherapy to build up to specific scenes.

For example, as someone with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (a connective tissue disorder that can cause joint dislocations among other issues), lots of rope bondage is a higher risk for me, especially suspension. This means working on increasing strength around joints is important for me to decrease the risks of injury.

Another consideration I personally use is having breaks from bondage for movement, as I find longer scenes with no movement causes higher risk of injuries. However, that risk will always be present and must be carefully considered. And of course, adapting what ties and avoiding particularly risk prone areas will decrease risk of injury.

tips for having hot disabled kinky sex

Bondage and Disability can go together

Disability and bondage may sound like a scary topic that is “too far out of reach” for us disabled folks, but it doesn’t have to be!

Disabled people can engage in sex and kink in whatever capacity they want, as long as risks are mitigated and accommodations are made. I encourage you to research further into bondage and kink, as well as experiment in safe environments that will allow you to find what you enjoy and what works with your body.

Have fun, be safe, and enjoy!

Shop bondage products and BDSM gear here.

Illustrations by Aimée Sullivan. Follow her on Instagram: @aimeeisokay

Read next:

References used in this article

  • Patterson, E 2020, How Practicing Kink Helps Keep People with Disabilities Connected to Their Desires, TheBody.com.
  • Tellier, S 2017, ‘Advancing the Discourse: Disability and BDSM’, Sexuality and Disability, vol. 35, no. 4, pp. 485–493.

Content disclaimer:

The information in this article has been fact checked and reviewed for accuracy by Adulttoymegastore’s team of content specialists and sexual wellness experts, including Sex Educator Emma Hewitt.

Adulttoymegastore does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment for illness. Any information published on this website, either by Adulttoymegastore or its authors, is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a medical professional.

Evan Johnson, Queer Sexuality & Disability Advocate
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